


darling i'm thrilled to have you by my side

by kblaze2



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: (i somehow managed to write all fluff and no smut), Adoption, M/M, Married Liam Payne/Louis Tomlinson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-12 07:36:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3348968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kblaze2/pseuds/kblaze2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>an established lilo au in which they are in the process of adopting.</p><p> </p><p>title from surround you by echosmith.</p>
            </blockquote>





	darling i'm thrilled to have you by my side

**Author's Note:**

> for some reason i've written a short fic about lilo becoming parents (because apparently 14,000 words is short for me)
> 
> the blame for this goes to blouberrypie entirely.
> 
> the original title of this fic was let's child, which is partly my fault but mostly her's.
> 
> i don't really know how adopting works, so i apologize for my complete lack of knowledge but i think it's close enough. by the time i thought to look it up i was too into the details to turn back. whoops.
> 
> also, there is a critique of the new coldplay album and please don't be offended, i've only heard a few slow songs and some not so slow ones and i needed a popular band name. i thought i would've listened to the whole album by the time i posted this but, alas, that did not happen. forgive me. (i love coldplay tho)
> 
> and i don't know why it felt so weird to say they were married in the beginning, but it did for some reason, but i got over it quickly. the power of lilo.
> 
> this whole note is pointless. hope you enjoy the fic at least somewhat :)

It's been a few years, and Liam's still not sure how to get Louis out of bed without some sort of physical retribution endowed on him. Whether it's a punch in the leg or a kick in the side or a slap to the face - more often than not, Liam's met with Louis' blindly flying hand square in the jaw, a satisfied hmph mumbled into the pillow before he twists his arm back under it - Liam's been manhandled far too much for the first few hours of being awake. The joys of being with an indignant and physical, very much not morning person. Honestly, Liam's just glad he's not given a twist to either of his nipples from this, but that would of course mean Louis would have to open his eyes and be awake, and then Liam will have won, and they both know how much Louis can't have that.

"Five more minutes," Louis' grumbles, curling the pillow closer to him, eyes screwed shut.

Liam sighs. He's already given him fifteen five more minutes, and he just won't be able to keep still if Louis doesn't wake up and join him in the production of their glamorous life soon. He tugs on Louis' shoulders, trying either to lift him up or pull him down, Liam doesn't know, he just needs to do something. The clock is ticking almost mockingly beside him, demanding it's purpose of counting down the minutes not go unnoticed. Louis' nose crinkles a bit as he clears his throat from the dry grog of sleep, wrenching his hand free again to swat Liam's away.

"Lou," Liam whines for the millionth time in four years of mornings that are just not meant to be spent lazily, that Louis' thinks of otherwise. "C'mon, she's coming at one, and you promised you'd help clean up the place. This is important." He humphs onto Louis' back, exhaling greatly into the small of it through the duvet. He brings his hand up to Louis' side, wiggling his fingers along, Louis starting to twitch under him.

"Fuck off," he groans, trying to pull Liam's hands away. But he can't get a good angle and has to turn himself over on his back, so he's basically awake now, and Liam peers up at him, cheery and smug, knowing how much Louis hates that. "You're far too bright for the morning, I can't believe I married someone so disgusting. Get off." He shoves Liam away by his face, and Liam can't help but laugh, darting his tongue out between the two fingers of Louis' that cover his mouth. Louis recoils, making a point to wipe it on the duvet. He yawns and stretches, bringing a hand up to his hair, ruffling it more than it was. Stray hairs fly out all over the place, tufts of it unruly and no longer held upright by the product, scraggly and soft, perfect. Liam loves Louis' bed head a little too much.

"Good morning," Liam chimes, pushing himself into a sitting position. "Grumpy pants."

Louis huffs. "I hate mornings, there's nothing good about them." He crosses his arms and furrows his eyebrows. There's that line between them, that little wrinkle that's supposed to show annoyance but Liam just finds it endearing and, well, adorable. He tells Louis as much, because Louis always looks this way when he's trying to be ferocious and it irritates him to no end that Liam can't take him seriously, but Liam thinks he's really not to blame here when Louis looks like that. Liam laughs and scoots closer, snuggling into Louis and kissing his neck, ear, cheek, nose, forehead, cheek again.

Louis tries to wriggle free but Liam wraps his arms tight around his waist and nuzzles his nose in his neck. "I want a divorce," Louis grumbles, giving up trying to escape and Liam guffaws into his side. Louis concedes after a while, like he always does, and leans into Liam's grasp, resting his head on top of his. He kisses it once. "Your nose is cold," he pouts.

Liam chuckles, pressing his lips to the skin of Louis' neck again. "And your soul is black."

"Not as black as my coffee," Louis responds, sliding out of bed. "Which I hope you at least started since you're forcing me awake at this godforsaken hour." He scratches his back as he shuffles to the kitchen.

"I told you last night we had to wake up early. I told you all week, actually," Liam says. "Not my fault you didn't listen to me. You knew this was coming."

Liam knows he's won that, too, because all Louis has as a retort is sticking his tongue out before he passes through the doorframe. He smiles to himself before pushing off the bed. At least he's accomplished one thing before what's to come today, he thinks, and that was probably the hardest part.

He yawns and makes up the bed, fluffing the pillows and duvet just right, making sure everything's lined up where it needs to be. Presentation is key today. Scratching the little hair on his head he goes into the bathroom, turning the shower faucet just between blue and red. He can hear Louis shuffling around the kitchen, and he knows he's going to have to go behind him and clean up whatever mess he's made this time. No matter, Liam thinks as he steps in the shower, he's been cleaning up Louis' messes for years, and today it actually needs to be done, not that he minds. He scrubs himself clean, brushing his teeth once he's done, a towel wrapped around his waist. He opens the bathroom door to let the steam out, immediately feeling the cool air on his bare skin from their bedroom. Louis' lying on the bed, fiddling with his phone.

"I just made that up," Liam says, pouting a little.

"I'm sure you'll have fun doing it again, you love to fix things," Louis says, a twinge of a smile on his face as he gets up.

Liam rolls his eyes, not arguing because he may be kind of right. He goes to make his way to the kitchen, but Louis slaps his ass on the way and steals his towel, waving it around like it's his grand prize. "Louis!" Liam shouts, and Louis laughs and runs away with it. And this, this is how Liam spends half his morning. Chasing his five year old husband around their apartment, buck naked and still dripping from his shower. And he doesn't think he has a thing to complain about. Especially when he finally catches Louis, his wet front pressed to his back as he wraps his arms around his middle, both laughing wildly as Liam lifts him off the ground and spins him. Louis relents, a stupidly proud grin on his face. He also especially can't complain when Louis smashes his lips to his, his hands reaching their way to Liam's butt, squeezing lightly. Liam startles but takes it nonetheless, tightening his grip on Louis and sucking on his bottom lip, finally kissing him good morning the way they both prefer.

Louis wraps the towel back around Liam's waist, kissing him once more, mumbling, "be ready in fifteen," against Liam's lips. Liam nods and squeezes his sides before sliding away. Louis skips off to the bathroom and Liam giggles, not quite believing his life still. He prepares his own coffee and finds that Louis' already started breakfast, some pancakes already made, stuffed away in the warmer so they don't lose their heat. He smiles at this, and the fact that there is, actually, no mess to clean, and the sticky note he finds on the counter.

_i would've done the bacon but i probably would've burned the place down. plus mine are nothing compared to yours :) you use a paper towel and everything!_

Liam sticks the note up on the fridge, along with some other ones they've passed along over the years.

 _i washed, u dry!_ and _preheat to 350 and enjoy :) be home soon as i can_ and _don't even try to have a slice lou! close the fridge and come back to bed xx_ and _just in case im not back before you're done with your shower wanted to say love you_ and _i swear i didn't eat it! it was niall!!_ and _call zayn_ and _harry wants his mixer back!_ and _i'll be home soon, can't wait to suck you off as soon as i walk in ;)_ and _TGIF!! all weekend, all mine :) xx already waiting for you, just follow the trail of my clothes ;)_

Liam blushes and takes the last two down, shoving them in a drawer. Better to not have those up for today. He goes back to the room to change into something presentable, and he can hear Louis singing "Mickey" through all the fog and running water. Liam chuckles at him and hangs his towel off the doorknob, going back to prepare the bacon.

He's just about done, putting plates and the coffee pot on the table when Louis sidles out of the room. He steals a piece of bacon off the plate in Liam's hand, taking a bite before promptly saying, " _Now_ it's a good morning." He kisses Liam's cheek and slides into his chair. Liam sets the plate down and Louis eyes it. "See? Paper towel." He smiles and Liam returns it.

"I'm going to have to start getting Harry to give you cooking lessons, since you obviously don't listen to me when I try to do it," Liam says as he sits. He takes a sip of his coffee, warm and vanilla, just the way he likes it. He starts to work on cutting up his pancakes.

"I can't help it, you're so distracting," Louis teases, eyeing over Liam's torso. "You've got muscles the size of Russia, you can't blame me." Liam smirks but blushes, never able to get used to Louis' compliments; he knows he's done a good job building himself up and keeping fit, and he takes pride in it, but it's a whole new kind of feeling when Louis remarks about it. Whether it's noted like this, laced with humor and that glint in his eyes, or a once over as Liam's getting dressed, a proud smile playing on Louis' lips, the bottom one stuck between his teeth, or how Louis shows him with light strokes and brushes of fingertips over the contours of Liam's arms and back while they're laying there, or with the digging of fingernails into his skin and the nips of teeth all over his chest as they finally strip their clothes and _touch_ , making it last as long as they can. His favorite might have to be when Louis is half asleep and drifting further into it, head rested upon Liam, fidgeting and complaining that Liam goes to the gym far too much to be a comfortable pillow, Louis wishing for something to squish, which is how Liam ends up with a tweaked nipple at the end of a long and tiring day, Louis finally finding the perfect place to settle against his chest and under his arm, whispers of his breath steadying over Liam's skin. This is when Liam presses a kiss to his forehead and snuggles closer and tighter, letting himself slip into sleep.

Louis watches as Liam pours syrup over his pancakes while he still nibbles on his bacon. "I suppose Harry would be a good teacher, what with that lanky form of his and dorky smile when he wears his apron, it'll be much easier to pay attention," Louis says. "What he lacks in squish he makes up for with that childlike disposition of his to be so amazed with everything. Too optimistic for me." Louis crinkles his nose as he reaches for his mug. It's true, Harry's too sugar sweet, enjoying everything far too much, but somehow he still manages to be the perfect friend for Louis. Liam still kind of marvels at their bond, something about the both of them clicks so well to make it work and Liam's still not quite sure what it is, but he's glad. Louis won't admit it but he needs a thing like Harry in his life, no matter how disgusted he pretends to be by his ever present dimples and growing muscles. He loves him.

"You've been a bad influence on all of them," Louis starts, cutting his pancakes. "Getting them all to go to the gym more, I don't have one squishy friend anymore. Cuddles on the couch are ruined."

Liam snorts. "Yes, because we all exist solely to fulfill our purpose of being your personal pillow." He stuffs a forkful of pancake into his mouth.

"See? Now you're getting it," Louis smirks, a dumb smile on his face.

"Shut up," Liam says and throws a piece of bacon at him, which Louis eats happily.

~

This has been coming for a while, no matter any worries they had they always wanted this. Getting a dog or any other pet wouldn't have been enough, it's not the same. Louis' always wanted children, growing up with that many younger siblings instilling this great sense of family in his heart. Liam admires that, he does, and he wants the same. He's always envisioned himself raising a child, teaching them right from wrong, playing with them and helping them develop into this great person that he's left his mark on. A kind of legacy of his for him to be proud of, creating this whole new person as a part of his life, loving them and being loved in returned, a child's smile is the greatest gift he could ever ask for.

But he's not going to lie, he's nervous, really, really nervous. He's afraid this might not go well, they won't get approved for adoption, maybe the child they have won't like them, won't want two dads. Maybe Liam will screw all this up and be a terrible father. Maybe it just won't be meant to be. Liam fears that the most. He won't be able to give Louis this family he's wanted, this family he deserves. Liam knows Louis will be a great father, he's fantastic with children and has a great spirit, funny and relaxed but he knows when it's time for certain things to get done. He's still a child at heart himself, really, and Liam has no worries for him, except letting him down. He wants this so much, for both of them, but he knows Louis' wants it the most, so much he almost needs it, and Liam wants to give it to him.

The conversation has always been waiting to be had, hidden behind little comments as they watch some T.V. show or see families on the street or in the park, the pressing desire their parents have for grandchildren, the boys fighting over who would be the godfather, always ready to explode into the big talk. Despite the fact that they've always wanted kids, they haven't really been ready until recently. After the wedding, things were so hectic and busy with trying to properly settle down and find jobs and just make it on their own, a child wasn't even in the question. That was two years ago, and Liam hates that it's taken this long, but they're finally ready.

Liam had been sitting on the couch, flipping through the channels on the T.V., finally able to rest after a long Friday at work.

"You know," Louis started, setting his phone on the kitchen counter, "It seems every phone call I make home just has to end with Daisy and Phoebe pestering me about when they're gonna get to be aunts." He rolled his eyes fondly and plopped down on the couch next to Liam.

Liam chuckled. "I swear Ruth and Nicola might actually come down and give me noogies and wedgies again if they don't become aunts either. But I keep telling them, how are they gonna worry about us when they don't even have children of their own? I'd like to be an uncle too, you know."

Louis smiled, settling in closer to Liam. "Yeah, you just wanna be the cool uncle since you wouldn't be the cool dad."

"Excuse me!" Liam scoffed. "I would be the coolest dad on the planet. I'd be so cool our kids would freeze in my presence."

Louis guffawed into Liam's shoulder at that, and Liam pouted like the mature twenty-five year old he was. "You're so totally the dad with the cheesy stupid jokes," Louis giggled. "We both know I'd be the cool dad, Liam."

"Harry's the one with the stupid jokes," Liam said. "My jokes are actually funny."

Louis lifted his head and stared pointedly at Liam. "Right. Sure, okay."

"They are!" Liam stomped his feet and Louis laughed again, curling his arm around Liam's waist.

He kissed his neck. "We'll let our kids be the judge of that, and we _know_ they'll say I'm the cool dad."

"No they won't," Liam pouted again, because that was apparently all he had in his arsenal.

Louis peered up at him, thumbing over Liam's bottom lip before pinching it between his two fingers. Liam relaxed into the touch, closing his eyes for a brief moment. "Liam," Louis said, his voice small.

"Hmm?" Liam looked down at him, his eyebrows raised at Louis chewing his lip.

"Do you... I mean, was that all talk?" He sat up on the couch, eyes darting around.

Liam sighed and muted the T.V., putting his hand over Louis'. "Well, I mean -" He cleared his throat. "I hope not," he decided, looking right back at Louis.

"But, do you - you think we're ready?" Louis asked.

"Do you?" Liam asked right back, circling his thumb over the back of Louis' hand.

Louis swallowed, eyes staring down at their hands. He didn't say anything for a little while longer than Liam liked, but he lifted his eyes to Liam's soon enough. "Yeah," he said, sounding surer than he did when they started this conversation. "I do."

Liam smiled big at him, lacing their fingers together. "Me too. I really, really do."

Louis responded with a smile just as big, pouncing on Liam and smashing their lips together. "Good," he mumbled into Liam's mouth and they fell into laughter together as they fell off the couch.

That was about two months ago, and they were finally able to schedule an interview this weekend, today, with the adoption agency. They finished breakfast a while ago, and then cleaned up whatever else needed to be cleaned. Louis thought everything was already in perfect order but Liam couldn't be convinced and gave everything an extra scrub down or adjustment. And even now sitting on the couch, waiting, he doesn't think the carpet is clean enough and maybe he could've made the T.V. screen just a bit shinier and he could adjust the rag hanging off the bar in the kitchen or he -

"Could you stop thinking so loud?" Louis interrupts sharply and Liam turns to face him. "I swear I can hear the gears turning in your head. Just relax, okay? Everything looks perfect." He squeezes Liam's hand.

"I know, I know, you're right," Liam resigns, slouching down into the couch. "It's just..."

"I know," Louis says. "Me too. But it's going to go fine. And even if it doesn't, Niall said he would steal us a baby, so we have nothing to worry about." He tries a smile.

"Niall's not gonna steal us a baby," Liam shakes his head, laughing, although he doesn't quite believe it.

"He's not gonna _have_ to steal us one, we'll be fine," Louis assures Liam with a shake of the shoulder.

Liam starts to think maybe he should relax when the doorbell rings. Every nerve in his body electrifies and his hair stands on end and he's really surprised he didn't throw up right there on the spot - maybe he's more proud than surprised, but he can't really blame himself for that, this is the most nervous he's ever been in his life.

"Shit, here we go," Louis breathes out. He rubs his hands on his pants as Liam stands, both steeling themselves. His legs aren't wobbling - that's a good sign.

"This is good. This is great," Liam says as he walks to the door, not knowing which one of them he's trying to convince more. "We're good. This is going to be fine. We got this. Right?" He turns to Louis coming up behind him at the door.

"Right," Louis repeats. He grabs Liam and kisses him hard and quick. "Right," he says again. Liam smiles shakily and nods, reaching for the doorknob.

He takes a deep breath, "Right." Louis holds onto his arm as he pulls the door open. A woman with short blonde hair and a navy blue suit is standing on the other side, bag in hand. Liam plasters on a big, welcoming smile. "Hello, you must be Janet." He sticks his hand out to shake. "I'm Liam, and this is Louis, we're the Tomlinson-Payne's. Please, come in."

Janet shakes his hand and steps inside, shaking Louis' hand as well.

"Can I take your jacket?" Louis offers.

"No, thank you, I'm alright," she replies. Her tone is firm and her eyes sweep around their home, and Liam suddenly feels very self conscious of their apartment.

"Can I get you something to drink? Water? Coffee? Lemonade?" Liam asks, trying to keep his voice steady.

"I'm fine," she declines, clearing her throat. "Thank you, though. Is there a place where we can sit?"

"Yes, of course. If you'd follow us to the living room," Liam holds out his arm, gesturing for her to follow behind Louis.

"Please, have a seat anywhere you'd like," Louis says kindly. Janet nods and sits in the separate chair perpendicular to the couch. Louis and Liam sit on the couch, trying to keep as casual as possible. Louis keeps a hand on Liam's back, clutching at his shirt. Liam rests his hand on his thigh and squeezes, trying to convey _dear God, please neither of us puke_ and _I love you so much, we'll be fine_ in the touch. He hopes Louis gets it.

"So," Janet starts, taking some files out of her bag. She places them on the coffee table and begins to sift through them. Liam can actually feel the suspense in the air, weighing farther down on them with each second longer she takes to speak again. He doesn't like that, doesn't like the way his heart is hammering and his fingers are drumming and his toes are fidgeting -he doesn't feel strong or confident at all. He doesn't like not feeling like that. Thankfully, it's only a second more of agony before Janet speaks again. "You two are looking to adopt?"

Liam steels himself. "Yes, ma'am."

"And how long have you been married?"

"Uh," Louis starts, his voice catching a bit. He clears his throat. "Two, almost three years." He smiles over at Liam.

"What made you decide to adopt now?" she asks, taking out a pen and clicking it open.

"Well, we just feel it's time, really," Liam begins. "We've always wanted kids and now that we're settled we'd like to take the next step and start a family." He squeezes Louis' thigh again briefly, and Louis dances his fingers on the small of his back in response.

Janet nods, eyes scanning over the two of them. Liam almost crumbles under her stare, thick and sharp, but then her face softens. "Let's get to the technical stuff, shall we?" A small smile. "All the forms and such for your eligibility." They nod, slightly thrown as she pulls out a clipboard and attaches a piece of paper to it. "So, I've got your names and ages - 25 and 27 - what is it that you do for a living?"

"Oh, well, we're both in the music business," Louis says. "I'm a magazine critic while Liam here works in production."

"Right, yes, I thought your name was familiar," Janet says, twiddling her pen with her fingers. "You did that review on the Coldplay album that said it was like being in the back of class at school? Dozing off but every now and then snapping up?"

"Uh, yeah," Louis begins to blush and Liam shakes his leg, smiling at him. He should be proud of his work, all of it. "Most people didn't take well to that, but it wouldn't be criticism if they did now would it?" Louis laughs.

"Very true," Janet agrees, marking something down. "And, Liam, you're in music production? What's that like?"

"Oh, it's really cool," Liam begins, happy to talk about this. "I just work on the songs and help get the beats and melodies to flow and stuff like that. I also do some vocal coaching and songwriting and I was recently promoted. Just last week, actually." Louis runs his hand up and down his back at that. "So, now, I'm like, head honcho, if you will. Of my team, at least." He works out an easy smile. He's really lucky he's gotten this far in a profession he loves. He doesn't take a day of it for granted. "But, yeah, I have a real office now, and a new salary to match it, so we'll be moving into a house soon. That's the plan, anyways." Louis rests his chin on Liam's shoulder from behind him, and Liam hums, pressing his cheek against the top of Louis' head for just a moment.

"Well," Janet smiles. "Congratulations on that. Have you started saving for it already?"

"Yeah, we've always been saving," Louis says. "But now it'll be a whole lot easier than it was. Which is really lucky."

They're asked more questions about their lifestyle and everything that makes them fit to be parents, and they answer with practiced ease - Liam is proud of that. Louis makes sure to squeeze in that he can work from home if he needs to, hoping that will sway her decision. She notes it down and asks more about their families and lives before they were married - probably to get a feel for their relationship so there's harmony or something in the house around the child, Liam thinks -and also about their future plans. Louis jokes that he hopes there's a child in it and Janet laughs. Liam takes that to mean she's warmed up to them. They give her a tour of their apartment and Janet tells them they check out perfectly there in terms of safety and space, which Liam appreciates but still, a house is where they're going. When she leaves an hour and a half later, she tells them things are looking really promising and that they'll be contacted within the end of two weeks. They say their goodbyes and Liam practically launches himself at Louis when the door is closed.

~

Those two weeks could not have passed by slower. Every chance they got they got they checked their mailbox in the downstairs lobby, opening it with a far fetched expectation of hope and closing it with a defeated clang every time they came up empty handed. They kept telling themselves, _well of course it hasn't shown up yet, she said two weeks and it's only been three days_. They knew they were just dragging it out, making the wait worse for themselves by checking so constantly, but they were ready to explode with anticipation as soon as they closed the door behind Janet a few days ago. And if they did jump up and down and squeal like teenage girls, well, that was just the anticipation, too.

"You need to go out and do something," Niall tells them the Friday after the interview.

"What I need is for that letter to come through the mail," Louis grunts, staring wistfully at the door.

"And for you to stop raiding our fridge," Liam adds, snatching a bag of chips out of Niall's hands.

He shrugs, wiping the grease off his hands. "Technically, I raided your pantry." Liam only glares at him, so he smiles with almost forced attrition and backs off to the couch, where Louis is. "But seriously, you two need to come out with us, like, now. Who knows when you'll have time again."

"That's only if we get approved, Niall," Liam sighs.

"A big if," Louis mumbles bitterly, tightening his crossed arms to his chest.

"A big _when_ ," Niall corrects them, a sure smile on his face. "And _when_ you get approved, you'll be full blown parents before you know it, and we might not see you again."

"You know you'll still be coming around to steal our food and bother us to no end," Louis scoffs, poking Niall in the arm.

"Only because I love you," he replies, with an easy smile laced with his ever flowing charm. "Even you, Liam."

"Gee, thanks," Liam deadpans, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.

"I'm just saying, that letter's going to come at the end of next week, whether you're sitting in here staring at the door or not," Niall finishes, propping his feet up on the coffee table.

Liam considers that. He knows he's right, Niall seems to always be right these days and Liam's not sure how that happened. Some time after the wedding, Niall bucked up and became somewhat more sensible but it made a whole lot of a difference. Harry claimed it's actually because of the wedding.

"How do you mean?" Liam had asked him.

"I mean," he started, circling one of the many rings on his fingers, "you're no longer, just Liam, you know? You're Liam and Louis."

And he was right, everything they did was now as a couple, their names strung together in conversation with an infallible chain -not that that's much of a difference than to when they were engaged, or dating, or just friends, if Liam's being honest. But now, it's... he can't explain it, it's a new kind of together, a kind of together promised with sappy words and inside jokes in front of all their families and friends, a kind of really fucking permanent forever that Liam thought would scare him but it doesn't. Not at all. It only makes his smile grow broader and his dimples go deeper when he thinks of it and all that's to come. And now what's to come is hopefully going to be another name added to their chain, another member of their little family. Liam doesn't try to deny it will be different once they become actual parents, just tries to avoid it. He doesn't want to become one of those couples that lose the lives they built before a child so much that they drift away from their friends. They definitely can't do that, he won't allow it to happen. He knows Louis feels the same; these are their boys they're talking about here, best friends for years and they're not going to let that go. But the fact of the matter is they might get so close to letting it go while trying so hard to hold on while raising a child, it all falls apart on its own. This inevitable thing that they really, really dread. This is a bittersweet time of their lives, kind of a defining moment that they're scared, but excited, to see the outcome of. If only that letter would come sooner...

"Lou," Liam calls from the kitchen. Louis looks up at him, tearing his eyes away from the door. "Maybe he's right. We should go out. It'll be fun."

"Hell yeah it will!" Niall shouts, jumping up off the couch. He wrestles Louis into a hug before running up to Liam. "Fucking incredible, you are," he grins as he wraps his arms around him, tackling him back into the counter. "Wait 'till I tell Harry and Zayn, that Liam was the one who cracked. We all thought Louis would be convincing you."

"Don't tell me you guys placed another bet?" Louis groans, rubbing his hands over his face.

"Yeah, we did," Niall jeers, untangling himself from Liam. "Harry and I owe Zayn twenty each now. It's my own fault really, I should've gone with whatever Zayn was doing if he was betting for Liam. He knows you too well." Despite his loss, Niall is beaming at him like he's won it for a million dollars. Liam doesn't understand him and never will.

He crosses his arms. "Remind me to give Zayn an extra twenty myself, since he's my only _real_ friend. I party plenty, Niall, or do you not remember sophomore year Spring Break?"

"Oh, God, don't bring that up again," Louis whines while Niall laughs.

"That was the best week of my life, Payno." He wraps an arm back around Liam's shoulders. "I never knew you had it in ya."

"Well, you should've remembered that and all the other times when you were placing your stupid bet. I like to party," he pouts.

"Aw, babe," Louis says, coming up to them. "Turn that frown upside down, we all know you're a wild party animal." He kisses his cheek. "Right, Niall?" He slides his arms around Liam's waist and Liam automatically drapes his arm over his shoulders, Louis fitting into that spot that's come to be his over the years.

"Right," Niall agrees, smiling widely. His smile wanes when Liam kisses Louis' forehead. He takes his arm from around Liam. "But none of that mushy crap while we're out, okay? We're the five bros, not the gay couple entourage."

Of course the only way to respond to that is to kiss with over the top dramatics and fondling. Of course.

~

"Pay up, bitches!" Zayn yells when he hops in the cab the boys came to pick him up in.

Niall and Harry grumble but pull out their wallets nonetheless, slapping the bills in Zayn's hand. Louis and Liam laugh at them, having learned not to really take it to heart when their friends bet on them because it means someone always loses with a huff and someone wins with indignant, obnoxious, pride, of which they get to share the joy because mocking each other is the glue of their friendship.

"I'm always right about Liam," Zayn says, patting his head affectionately. "You should know that," he chides.

"Believe me, I won't be making that mistake again," Niall huffs, settling into the seat cushion.

Harry just pouts and fiddles with his fingers. "That twenty was supposed to go to my tab tonight."

"Sounds like a personal problem," Zayn quips and Liam giggles into Louis' shoulder. Louis laughs but tries to console Harry still, offering to buy him some drinks.

"No, then people would think they couldn't come up and buy me some of their own," Harry replies.

"Yeah, because I'm sure me and Liam kissing and flashing around our wedding bands will scream _obviously I'm with the curly giant_ ," Louis fires back.

Harry's cheeks flush. "Shut up." Then "Maybe one drink." He lifts his eyes up to Louis.

"Two," Louis amends, always having to have the last word. Liam smiles to himself, resting his head on Louis' shoulder. Louis leans towards him a little before continuing. "And then I'll leave you to fend for yourself and pull whichever unsuspecting passerby and give them the time of their life in all your drunken glory."

"You're a true friend," Harry grins at him from across the cab.

Louis shrugs as if to say, _of course_. "What else would I be if not considerate?"

"A dick."

"An ass."

"Pretentious."

The three of them all supply the answer at the same time, Liam in Louis' ear and Zayn and Niall from the far side of the cab. Louis glares at all his friends and points a finger at Zayn.

"I am not pretentious. I just enjoy the finer things in life," Louis says, turning his nose up probably to illustrate his point but Liam just thinks he's contradicting himself. "You have no room to talk," he adds, scoffing at Zayn, who just pretends to flip his styled up hair in response, his middle finger sticking out.

"You're still an ass, though," Niall says and Louis can only shrug.

"Don't forget dick," Liam adds and it should be offensive, really, but it's not. Liam calls him names all the time, and Louis fires right back. They were built on teasing and banter, love and fondness always not so far behind the comments. Liam thinks that's why they work, to be honest, they're both too romantic for their own good, Louis always trying to hide it behind veiled insults and physical comebacks and Liam has this kind of wired self defense where he has to try and quip back, even if he can't be quite as witty as Louis. But Louis always loves his failed attempts, so it's a win for Liam anyways.

"I try," Louis says, unfazed. Liam loves him.

It's quiet for a while after until Harry starts snorting to himself.

"What's so funny?" Liam asks, everyone looking at Harry, both bemused and confused.

"I'm just picturing Lou getting mad or something with your kid, and all the restraint he's going to have to use to not curse them out," he answers, finding it much funnier than everyone else does.

"I imagine his face will turn an angry red before he just explodes," Niall offers up, joining in with Harry.

"Fuck all of you," Louis spits, crossing his arms over his chest. Everyone just laughs at him, their point being proven.

"We'll keep a swear jar," Liam says. "Maybe then we can afford to go on vacation," he sniggers, eyeing up at Louis.

Louis shoves away from him, but Liam only scooches after. Granted, there's not much space in the back of the cab, so Louis really hasn't got anywhere to go. "I don't appreciate you insinuating I have no self control, Liam. I have _plenty_."

Niall snorts. "No, you don't."

"Remember Christmas last year?" Harry asks, not really to Louis, more to all of them.

"You couldn't keep your hands off him for ten minutes," Zayn says, waving between Liam and Louis. Louis stiffens and Liam's skin goes hot, remembering the night well. "Jesus Christ, Louis. _Everyone_ was there, and believe me, everyone knew what you were doing."

Liam flushes; Zayn's family had hosted Christmas and invited all the boys and their families, and well - it had been a really long month at work, for both of them. Liam was swamped with deadlines and there was a system malfunction which caused a publishing error at Louis' office and they had to restart everything over again. December was always crunch time for them, and they really only had time together to clink wine glasses and cut a slice of cake for Louis' birthday on Christmas Eve before passing out on the living room floor. They only woke up two hours before they were supposed to be at Zayn's and it was just so frustrating, Liam remembers that all too well. They barely touched each other at all that month save for a few hello or goodbye kisses, both too swamped to do anything but sleep, and too bothered to go on any longer. It's not really their fault they had to excuse themselves to the bathroom soon after entering the Malik household, and Liam's not as ashamed as he should be. He is a man after all, he has needs.

"And that one time at my mom's," Harry's saying, counting off on his long fingers.

"Don't forget the entirety of our college years," Niall adds on, his nose scrunching up.

"Oh, I couldn't forget that even if I _tried_ ," Harry says, looking disdainfully at the two of them. Liam only hides his face in Louis' shoulder. "Well, that just brings the total up to... two hundred million accounts of Liam and Louis being exhibitionist horn dogs," he concludes and sends Niall and Zayn into a fit of laughter.

"What a great story for the kids," Zayn chuckles, clutching his side. "At least you two will know all the answers if they have any questions about sex."

Louis promptly sticks his fingers in his ears and sings "la la la" loudly and horribly off key.

"Don't even," Liam groans to the three of them. It's hard enough to even try to get kids, but to have to have the talk with them? Absolutely not. Liam scrunches his nose up. He could barely figure that stuff out on his own, and now he has to teach it to someone else? No. This is going to go wrong. It's all going to go to shit. He's going to be a horrible father, this confirms it. He can't raise children. No, no, no. He can't do it. He's not the right guy. After they get approved - if they get approved - and they bring the child home, Liam will sneak out and leave. They'll be much better off with Louis anyways, he's good at everything. Especially handling children. And he's right, he will be the cool dad. Louis will be okay without him, Liam would only make it shit but Louis can handle it. He's Louis fucking Tomlinson of course he can.

"Babe?" Louis questions, running a thumb along Liam's forearm. Liam looks up and sees everyone's exited the cab, standing on the other side of the open door waiting for Liam to slide out. Oh. He hadn't even noticed the cab had stopped, hadn't really felt it moving at all. All he felt was complete dread. Complete and utter terror. He hopes that letter never comes.

"You alright?" Louis is asking him, worry written all over his face. He should be worried, Liam thinks, he's about to jump into parenthood headfirst with the wrong man. Liam'd be worried, too. "Do you not wanna go out? We can go back home if you want," Louis says softly and Liam sighs because he knows it's true and Louis is so fucking wonderful sometimes - all the time - he doesn't deserve it.

"No, I'm fine," Liam says, unbuckling his seatbelt. "Really," he adds, when Louis raises his eyebrows at him. "Just zoned about a bit. Let's go boogie."

Louis snorts. "Oh, God. You're _definitely_ the corny dad." Liam freezes for a moment - it's the dread again - but then Louis kisses his head and unbuckles his own seatbelt. "You sure?" he asks still, because of course he would.

"Absolutely," Liam says, smiling as big as he can manage. Louis doesn't look too convinced, but then his face brightens up, and he surges forward and kisses Liam hard. Somewhere in the background Liam can hear Niall groan a _Jesus Christ_ , but his brain is too fuzzy too quick, too consumed with Louis and _God, fucking yes, I love you_ which soon morphs into _please don't hate me when you find out I suck at parenting just like I do at everything else_ and then he loses the fire in his belly and he feels his stomach drop like a rock. He really does suck.

But then Louis separates from him and he's still beaming like he does when Liam's done something for him, but Liam is at a loss because he really hasn't done anything. But he thinks maybe tonight could be good, maybe he can get by tonight just on the energy from Louis' smile right now. Maybe he can forget all this negative shit and fucking party and dance and drink like he was born to do. Niall was right, he is a party animal. He's got a reputation to maintain here, and Louis' his right hand man when it comes to things like this.

He smiles back at Louis, before turning to slide out of the seat. He steps out on the curb and throws his arms out wide at three of his best friends. "The Payno is here to party, boys! Let's get wild!"

Behind him he hears his fourth best friend snort, "Dork."

Yeah, this is his atmosphere. This is his place. Tonight is his night.

~

"Can you fucking speak English, please?" Liam laughs into his phone, holding it away from his ear for a bit. He picked up on the second ring and Louis consequently yelled in his ear, reaching an octave Liam couldn't even make him hit with a kick to the balls.

Louis takes a deep breath on the other line. "I said, the fucking letter came!" Liam's phone nearly drops out of his hand. He stutters a bit and Louis just continues on. "It's in my hand right now and I will have you know this is an excellent example of my abundant self control because it is taking everything in me to not tear it open right now." Liam doesn't think Louis took one breath while saying that. Liam knows he's not breathing. _Shit_.

"How quick can you get here?" Louis asks and Liam then remembers he's in his office at work, and then he thinks fuck it.

"Give me twenty minutes," he hurries into the receiver and begins shuffling around his office like a lunatic.

Louis groans. "That's too long. I'm _dying_ , Liam."

"Then I'll pick up some roses for the funeral," Liam says back without even thinking about it. He stuffs some folders into his briefcase, knowing the pages are probably all bent but he doesn't care.

"I'm taking this letter to the grave then," Louis retorts in his ear. "Twenty minutes," he says and Liam hears a click and the line is dead.

He lets the phone fall from between his shoulder and neck as he searches for his keys. Rummaging around, he eventually finds them in his drawer and slams it shut. He's probably going to get in trouble for this, he fears running into John on his way out, but tomorrow morning will be even worse. But half of Liam doesn't even care, just wants to get home. He sticks his laptop in his bag, relocates his phone off the floor before pocketing it, grabs his jacket and rushes out the door, locking it behind him. He basically runs down the studio halls and he doesn't give one fuck about it, he has to get home. No one stops him on the way -thank God - and he makes it to his car in under a minute. He's probably breaking every single law of the road as he races through the city streets - he doesn't think he stops once or ever goes below fifty five. He's surprised he made it out alive when he pulls into the parking lot of their apartment building - with even five minutes to spare. His heart is racing and his palms are sweating and shaking like crazy, so he leaves his stuff in the car because there's no way he'd be able to carry it all like this - and it'd just take up more time, really. Tripping a little over his own feet, he books it out of the car and dashes into the lobby and up the steps to the third floor, not wasting any time. He flings the door of their apartment open and doesn't even have the care to be mad at Louis for leaving it unlocked.

"Thank God!" Louis yells from somewhere, running towards Liam with the letter flapping around in his hand. "I was about to lose it," he says, launching himself at Liam and kissing him.

Liam tries to kiss him back but he's too antsy. "Fucking open it," he mumbles and Louis pulls back.

"No need to be bossy about it," he tuts. Liam rolls his eyes but says nothing. Louis stares down at the letter before shaking his head and shoving it at Liam's chest. "No, no, I can't - you do it."

"No," Liam says, more firm than he feels. "You read it. You just said you were dying to read it. Open it. Tell me what it says. I want you to." He grabs Louis' elbows and strokes his thumbs along either of them, waiting.

Louis chews his lip, peering up at Liam. "Okay!" he exclaims so suddenly Liam could swear this was his plan all along. Louis snatches the letter back into his space and tears it open. He lets the envelope fall to the floor as he wrestles the letter out. Liam watches him, eyes scanning the paper, but Louis doesn't give away anything, and Liam's honestly freaking the fuck out.

"What? What does it say?" He grabs Louis by the shoulders, mind going frantic.

Louis doesn't say anything. And that's answer enough, really. Liam's face falls and his shoulders slump. He runs a hand over his face and backs away. His legs carry him to the living room and he cannot fucking believe this. He - God, he wanted this so much, so much. Even with all his fucking fears, if anything he wanted this for Louis, and now -

He's knocked to the floor and Louis is on his back. "What the fuck are you all gloomy for?" he yells in Liam's ear before clearing his throat loudly. "'Dear Mr. and Mr. Tomlinson-Payne, we are pleased to inform you that your request for adoption has been approved-'"

"What!" Liam chokes out, suddenly remembering he's the strong one and rolling Louis off of him. He sits up and snatches the letter out of Louis' hands. He reads the line over and over again, still not processing it. "What the _fuck_. Shit, shit, we -fucking -"

"And the boys said I had the profanity problem," Louis teases.

"Shut up," Liam says, still grinning like a maniac. "We're gonna be parents." It hangs in the air for a moment after he's said it, and Liam honestly doesn't feel anything but pure joy. He looks up at Louis to find him already looking at him, the smile on his face probably mirroring Liam's. Liam shouts and throws himself at Louis, knocking them both down on the floor and kissing him like crazy. What he slips in Louis' mouth isn't his tongue but an endless surge of energy of _love you so much_ , and what he bites down on isn't Louis' bottom lip but everything he's ever wanted and needed and promises of more in the future, and when he can't breathe anymore he finds he's suffocating with glee and hope and Louis and he's so fucking bright at this moment that all he can do is love. He loves Louis so much, he loves this life they've built together, he loves this next step they're about to take, he loves their unnamed child more than he thought was possible. Screw being a terrible parent, he'll live and learn, and as long as he has Louis by his side, he can conquer anything. And he'll let their Uncle Zayn handle the sex talk. Yeah, everything's found it's place now, he thinks, everything is all right finally. Everything is lying underneath him and kissing him right back.

~

The boys throw them a party, of course. Well, not much of a party, just all of them gathered at Liam's and Louis', and it would just be like any other day if there wasn't about four six packs lying around, a cheese platter ("That shit is classy," Niall said, shoving the platter at Liam's chest upon arrival), and a congratulatory cake baked by Harry and decorated terribly by Niall. It's also quite obvious where Zayn went back and tried to cover up some of Niall's not so wholesome icing accents. Liam wasn't expecting anything different, honestly. They're a tight bunch, celebrating even the littlest achievements for years. One time, Niall managed to make it home drunk on his own, and they all blew noisemakers and clapped for him loudly during the midst of his hangover. The best of friends.

Louis tries to play it off like he's embarrassed, but Liam knows him too well to fall for that, they all do. He loves the limelight, relishes in it, especially over something so personal to him. They're having fucking kids, he should be proud. Liam's pretty proud, but he thinks he kind of always knew they would get approved, at least if not now then soon - he just couldn't imagine a future without kids in it. He doesn't know if Louis was so sure, though, he was the most anxious Liam's ever seen him, and Liam's been with him through opening nights of plays and _every time_ he puts out a new critique. But now, Louis seems as calm and collected as can be, laughing with Niall and Harry over who knows what, bottle of beer in hand. He seems so at ease, Liam almost forgets this is _their_ party, their special occasion. It kind of feels like all those parties back in college when Liam just felt so out of place even being associated with Louis, much less dating him. He would always wonder how they ended up being together, moving past friends into this, and now - now they're parents-to-be. Liam's still kind of in shock at his whole life. Has been since the first day Louis Tomlinson entered his life, eight years ago.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Zayn asks, coming up to sit next to Liam on the couch. He nudges him with his elbow and Liam just shrugs. Zayn rolls his eyes. "Liam, don't forget I know you the best."

"Then you should be able to tell what I'm thinking about," Liam says. He tries to look back at him, but he's still a little transfixed by his husband.

"Believe me, I do. It's just better to get you to say it before I tell you how dumb you're being," Zayn tells him, pointedly. Liam shakes his head, which is apparently cue for Zayn to continue on. "Bro, stop being so fucking cynical, alright? This your party, your and Lou's party, and you're sitting over here being Johnny Raincloud. There's already one unnecessarily doubtful person in your relationship, there's not room for two."

"Hey," Liam says, frowning at him. It's enough to worry about Louis being so insecure, especially when Liam finds him so amazing, but it's another level to have one of them comment on it. And Zayn knows just as well as he and the other boys do - so there's no need to bring light to it. Especially like this, a sidebar comment that just - just - no. Liam won't have it. He knows Zayn didn't mean it like that, but Louis' his husband and he always fights for him before he fights for himself.

"Sorry," Zayn relents. "You know what I mean. Both of you need to stop acting like you still don't deserve each other. And you -you need to realize what tonight is. This is a big deal, Liam, and we're all happy for you. Lou's happy, you should be, too. If any of us deserve this, it's you two." He nudges Liam again and gets him to look him in the eye until Liam blushes and smiles, looking away. _Damn him_ , Liam thinks. _He's always right_.

After a moment, Liam looks back at him, bringing the glass to his lips. "Don't say that in front of Harry, he might have a fit," Liam says laughing.

"There's no question about it, he _will_ throw a fit," Zayn agrees.

"God, we're gonna have to make him the godfather, aren't we?" Liam laughs, holding his head in his hands.

"Only if you want to live," Zayn says, and then, his face more solemn, "And you're not gonna fuck it up, stop beating yourself up over that." Liam looks up at him. "And even if you do, who cares? No one's perfect at parenting, there's no right way to do it. You just do what you feel is right, you know? And believe me, you'll have it under control in no time. Lou's a natural with kids and, well, you're you. I don't know why you're freaking out." Zayn shrugs, reading into Liam like he's an open book - which he might as well be when it comes to Zayn - and having far more faith in him than Liam can even think to muster up.

Liam tries to think about that, but before he can do anything Harry's bounding over and sitting in between them, a thigh on each of their laps. Zayn groans and shoves away, but Harry still keeps one leg draped over Liam's even with the extra space.

"I need details, Liam," he says with a flourishing hand wave and exasperated sigh. "Baby details, how old, hair color, eye color, sex, everything," he announces and Liam turns an eye to Louis who's walking over with Niall, both shaking their heads. Liam cocks an eyebrow and Louis waves his beer at him, _just go with it_. Of course, Liam should know that by now.

"Well," Liam starts, clearing his throat. He and Lou haven't really talked much about it, now that he thinks about it. It was just the thing about having a baby that occupied their attention. Liam supposes he did have a vision of some sort when he imagined a little one waddling around. "I was thinking... a girl, maybe? I don't..." He stops, looking at his jeans. He should probably look to Louis, but.

Harry does something between a scoff and a laugh and Liam turns impossibly red. Okay, he knew it was maybe a long shot, maybe, but he didn't think it was a bad idea.

Niall comes and slaps Harry on the head, and simply says, "Hey," with a stern look and pointed finger. Liam shouldn't find it funny, but, it is Niall. He's not all that threatening, especially when dealing with Harry.

Harry's face goes blank for a moment before he looks back at Liam and then, "Oh!" He shakes his head and pats Liam's arm. "No, no, I didn't - no, Liam, that's _great_. Really. I just meant, like -" he clears his throat and jabs a finger towards Louis - "good luck getting that one to go for that with his fantasy of raising the next Beckham."

"Or Mia Hamm," Louis interjects so simply but Liam's heart absolutely flutters and it's like his whole chest gets warm when he looks up at Louis all earnest and sincere with his deep blue eyes. _Shit_ , Liam thinks, _I love you so much_. Louis continues, winking at Liam when Harry turns to him with his mouth slightly agape, "Yeah, I mean, let's be honest, any child I'm raising is going to have a _great_ soccer career." Niall and Zayn both scoff, and Louis cuts his eyes to them. He looks back to where Liam and Harry are sitting. "And it just so happens I would like a girl, too. If that's alright with you, Harry."

Harry looks kind of mortifyingly close to puking. "No, no, it's fine -I just. Ah, shit. I'm sorry, Lou. It's just you always talked about a boy, so I didn't - but a girl! That's so..." he beams now, looking between Liam and Louis, "That's so great. Really."

Liam's blushing when he says thank you. It's weird to actually have it out there, he thinks. Like, they've mentioned it to each other before, years ago in conversations of the future, but this is different. On a whole new level entirely - it's real, it's actually happening. Like, soon. It's... frighteningly fantastic.

Louis walks over and slaps Harry on the head, but it's nothing but fond. Harry shrugs when Louis smiles small with a shake of his head. Louis moves Harry's leg off of Liam and promptly settles himself in Liam's lap. He kisses Liam soft on the lips and Liam smiles into it, snaking his arm around Louis' waist. _This is real_. Louis pulls away and runs a thumb along Liam's cheek, tracing the edge of his mouth. "A girl," he says, his voice on the verge of cracking.

Liam squeezes his side. "Yeah," he whispers, practically grinning. "A girl." He leans up and kisses Louis again, because he can, because they're about to be fucking parents and this decision right here is so surreal, in a way. This is the first choices of many, and Liam thinks if this was this easy, anything else with Louis will be a piece of cake.

"Love you," Louis mumbles with a final peck of the lips before turning around to face everyone else. Harry just looks ready to explode, warm cheeks and eyes all glazed and a hand pressed to his chest. Liam doesn't understand why he just doesn't adopt himself, since he's so in love with children and is definitely just going to live vicariously through Liam and Louis, of which Liam's not sure how he feels. God, he might as well just marry Harry too with how involved he's going to make himself. It can't be too bad, Liam guesses. Harry's no harm and, hey, he'd be an extra pair of hands. Silver linings. He rests his chin on Louis' shoulder and Zayn sends him a small smile.

"So, what are you gonna name her?" Niall asks, breaking the mood.

"She'll already have a name, Niall," Zayn says. "It's adoption, not birth."

Niall emits a small "oh" and picks at the label on his beer. The boys all chuckle at him, the clueless wonder.

"When do you get to, like..." Zayn trails off with a hand gesture of pushing the air forward.

"On the letter it said to call and set a day," Louis says, shrugging a little. He looks back at Liam. "When did you...?"

Liam shrugs as well, a mask for his utter excitement. "Whenever. Soon, though." And then, because he just really can't pretend any longer, "I've got Friday off?"

Louis ponders over that, his lip between his teeth. "I've got that thing due - when is that -Thursday?" He looks at Liam like he has the answer, but he just stares back at him blankly. Lou shakes his head, "Whatever. Who gives a fuck, Friday sounds great."

Liam's heart floats back to where it's supposed to be -he hadn't realized it had dropped like a heavy weight. Why was he so nervous? It's just Louis, his _husband_ , for Christ's sake, it's not like they're going to back out of this, it's definitely happening. He must just be really anxious about it all, that's it. He digs his chin into Louis' shoulder and presses a kiss into the crook of his neck, inhaling the scent of their detergent and his shower wash and _Louis_. "Friday, it is." He's positively giddy, smiling like an idiot when Louis nods with bright eyes and white teeth and kisses Liam's forehead.

"God, you two are disgusting," Niall groans - again.

"It's called _love_ , Niall," Harry says pointedly, throwing a chip at him. "You should try it some time."

Niall shrugs with a noncommittal "eh" and takes a swig of his beer. Harry sticks his tongue out at him and Zayn rolls his eyes. Liam kisses Louis once, twice, three times.

~

Liam didn't think it could be so easy to fall in love with anyone who wasn't Louis. But it washes over him with such strength he actually stops breathing as soon as he sees her. He reaches to clutch at Louis until he sees he was doing the same. He looks up at him and sees everything he's feeling inside Louis' crystal blue eyes and wonders if he looks that beautiful when he's like this: determined and sure and passionate and amazed and just wrapped up in _yes_. He laces his fingers with Louis' and kisses his knuckles, and it's settled from there, really.

Melinda, the head of the adoption agency, smiles warmly at them, warm and knowing, nodding her head. She reaches for the file, but Louis holds up his hand.

"Wait, can we just, uh..." His cracked voice trails as his eyes scan over the little girl - _their_ little girl - again.

Melinda nods, or Liam assumes she does, he's not really paying her much attention. "Of course. I'll give you two a minute." Liam vaguely hears the door shut when he exhales. He's just in awe.

"She's beautiful," Louis says, and it sounds so much better than when Liam was just thinking it.

Liam nods, squeezing Louis' fingers between his. "So, so, beautiful."

Her name is Lillian, but she goes by Lilli, and it's been noted she's quite adamant about this special spelling of her name, which Liam smiles at. She'll fit right in with Louis. She's four years old, almost five in the middle of September, and the picture they have of her shows her dirty blonde hair up into two pigtails, her big, beautiful brown eyes shining up at them, popping up out of the page and entrancing Liam. Her smile is wide and there's a tooth missing and Liam so badly wants to be her Tooth Fairy and give her a hundred dollars more for each lost tooth.

"I think you might be beat out for my favorite pair of brown eyes," Louis says, shaking his head admiringly. He opens his mouth to say more but nothing comes out.

"I think she's got you beat for my favorite eyes overall," Liam adds and Louis doesn't even look affronted. He loves him so much. "Look at them. Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?"

"Perfect," Louis tacks on.

"Ours," Liam finalizes and he can actually hear the hitch in Louis' breath. Louis squeezes his hand harder than his bottom lip is trembling, his Adam's apple bobbing quickly. Liam brings his other arm around, own tears welling in his eyes as he wraps his hand behind Louis' neck. Louis turns into him immediately, curling himself into Liam's frame, clutching at his back. Liam holds him just as tight, the tears finally staring to fall. He can't believe this is finally happening, he's getting the gift of a lifetime with Louis, his absolute best friend on the planet, one he loves unconditionally, sharing just about everything with him. And now, now they get to share _this _/ - this darling child and this moment and every one from then on as parents. _Parents_. They're finally achieving this dream, too surreal that Liam would fear it was all his imagination if he didn't have a hold on Louis right now. It took a long time for Liam to believe Louis was a real presence in his life, took him a while to accept this great thing he was given and that it wasn't a joke or fake, it was - is -real. Now, Liam knows Louis is there and always will be - stability that Liam didn't really realize he needed. Throughout all the moments in his life, throughout any changes he's had to face since entering college, Louis has always been there, and will continue to be, and Liam really, really, loves and needs that. Him. And he's got him. He's got him to go on this incredible journey with and he's got him to love alongside this wonderful new addition to their family, and he's got him for forever and more. And Louis has him.__

He kisses Louis' neck and they break apart, smiling and crying and feeling all too lucky.

"Liam," Louis starts, wiping at Liam's cheeks, "we are going to be the best dads ever."

And for once, Liam believes it. He nods, and thumbs Louis' cheekbones, stroking the tears away. Louis holds onto his hand and then brings it up to his lips, pressing them there ever so slightly. "I know all we've seen is a picture, but I'd do anything for her," he admits softly. He's going to be the best parent he can be, for Lilli.

Louis nods and pulls him into a kiss. It's like Liam can feel the future in the ridges of Louis' lips, can grasp at the taste of it with each swipe of his tongue. He kisses Louis hard because he really just can't convey what he's feeling any other way than this. It's so simple, but it gives away everything.

Louis breaks away with a little breathless laugh. "God, she's gonna be _so_ spoiled."

"You're gonna be the worst," Liam almost giggles. "You give into your sisters with one bat of the eyes."

"Yeah, but you'll be just as bad." Louis pokes at Liam. "You couldn't say no even if your life depended on it. You're too soft, Liam.

"I thought I wasn't squishy?" Liam teases and Louis pokes him harder in the chest, which clearly hurts Louis' finger more than Liam's pec, proving his point. He quirks am eyebrow up and tries to bite back a smile.

"Shut up," Louis says, and Liam's face is smug when he kisses him again.

~

Over the next few weeks, when they're not working they're either buying furniture for Lilli's room or visiting her at the care center in the adoption agency. Melinda suggested that they get themselves somewhat acquainted with her before submersing her into their world completely, which they happily agreed upon. At first they went in with a few others looking to adopt to read to them, and to just volunteer before specifically moving on to Lilli. Liam enjoyed helping just as much as he knows Louis did, but it was hard to do it when all he wanted was to go over to Lilli and pick her up and take her away, take her home. With them. It happened soon enough, though. They sat and played with her a bit, or colored, or just listened to her speak - she's a talkative one, and Liam thinks she's the brightest one in there. He loves her more everyday.

It only took about two weeks, and then one day instead of coming to visit they were coming to pick her up, legs bouncing and hearts jittering the whole ride there. Liam tried not to break down when she ran to them when they walked in, and he was finally able to scoop her up and hold her tight in his arms, her big smile still showing through every word she uttered, as excited as them. He set her down and let her go to Louis, who's eyes were already brimming with tears when he kissed her cheek. They thanked Melinda before leaving, and they each took one of her hands and she walked in between them, Louis carrying what little possessions she owned in her small bag in the other hand.

They decided that they wanted her room to look like whatever she wanted it to, they only bought a mattress with a basic bed frame, and a dresser. So, they took her shopping, telling her to pick out whatever she wanted and the look she gave them made Liam's heart snap in half; he almost bought out the whole store. Louis lifted her up and sat her in the cart seat, her legs kicking jovially as they wandered the aisles. They had to get another buggy for all she chose, but they didn't care. They bought everything, pressing kisses to the top of her head as she continually chatted to them, rambling off into so many different topics so quickly Liam was surprised she was still breathing. He shared a look with Louis and laughed over her head, still not quite believing his life.

The car was loaded and they went for ice cream, learning Lilli's favorite flavor is mint chocolate chip, just like Liam's. Louis swiped a bit of chocolate on Liam's nose and they all laughed, Lilli's high and full of light. Then she squealed, "Daddy! Paint my face, too!" her arms out wide and face so innocent and Liam nearly dropped his ice cream. He looked over wide eyed at Louis who was looking at her like she was the whole world - which she just might be.

His throat bobbed when he said, "Of course, princess," and drew a smiley face made of chocolate on her cheek, Lilli giggling loudly. Liam grasped his hand tightly over the table, leaning in to kiss her forehead. Soon though, she complained her face was too cold so he gladly wiped it off for her, already feeling like he would know exactly what to do for her in the future, know exactly what kind of parent to be: himself.

They went home soon, Lilli marveling at their apartment, and Liam realized that he may think it's not the best place but to her it's a castle, because all she's ever known is less. He gulped at this before letting her scamper off to her room. She quickly came running back out, arms wide and legs pumping.

She wrapped either arms around their legs, face nuzzled between them. "I love it! Is it really all for me?" She peered up at them with wide and hopeful eyes.

Liam knelt down to her eye level, taking her small shoulders in his hands; he could easily feel the bones there, and shuddered to think of a life this girl had to live where she wasn't given everything she wanted, let alone needed. "Yes, baby girl. It's all yours." Liam smiled when she did, but he could never shine as much as she does. "This your home now. We -" he reaches for Louis, and he leans down with him - "we want you to be as happy as can be here, okay? We promise to give you everything you need and we'll always make sure you're taken care of."

"We promise to be the best parents we can be," Louis added on, taking her small palm in his.

She stared at them for a little whole longer, just blinking. "Really?"

"Really," they confirmed at the same time.

"Then I promise to be the best daughter ever," she stated matter-of-factly. She straightened her posture and set her face - as much as a four year old can.

"Deal," Louis said, laughing.

"Come on, you wanna go set up your room?" Liam asked, hand sliding down her arm.

"Yeah!" She jumped up and spun around, racing off towards her room.

Later, when it was way past what Liam thinks bedtime should be but Louis assured him it was fine, they tucked her into her pink and purple bed set, and her "I love you," came so suddenly Liam faltered in turning out the light. Louis reached for his hand as she curled herself farther into the covers, already drifting to sleep.

"Love you, Lilli. Goodnight." And Liam wants that to be the last thing and first thing she hears everyday, she deserves that much and more.

Now, they're sitting in the living room a little over a month later, Lilli playing with her dolls in the corner and Liam and Louis scrolling through the list of local elementary schools. September is approaching, along with Lilli's birthday - and Niall's, not that he would ever let them forget it - and it's time to enroll her in kindergarten. That'll make it easier as well, Liam took off about two weeks in July to be here with Lilli and Louis, and because he honestly wanted to. But he just doesn't really have the kind of leeway to be doing that; John was understanding, but he wasn't pleased. Now, with school starting, Liam can work and Louis has arranged it where he works from home almost full time, with a few exceptions, but he should be back to be with Lilli after school with no problem. Which is just excellent, really.

Lilli took to them well, like, really well. Better than Liam was expecting, and he couldn't be more thrilled. He thought she would be shy or reserved, or maybe even scared, but after their first day together he knew that clearly wasn't the case. He's glad she's so young, she's so open minded and bright right now, it's the best thing given their situation. They worked it out where Liam is "Daddy" and Louis is "Papa," which Louis claimed made him feel 67 years old, but he lights up like a Christmas tree every time she calls for him. Liam doesn't think he minds that much anymore. It's not all that conventional, but it works. And it's theirs.

They've just narrowed it down to two schools close by when the doorbell rings. "Who is it?" Lilli calls with her high voice, barely glancing up from what game she was playing.

"Your favorite godfather!" they hear through the door and then an "Ow, Niall!" followed by an indignant, " _I'm_ her favorite!" of course concluded with, "Both of you are so wrong, I'm the favorite."

Lilli's face lights up and she giggles, and Liam shakes his head at them. Louis gets up to open the door, just as their idiot friends start placing bets on who's the favorite.

"Everyone knows Niall's the favorite everything," Louis says, swinging the door out.

Niall fist pumps. "Damn straight!"

"Niall!" Liam reprimands and Niall slaps a hand over his mouth.

"Sorry," he mutters.

"And you just lost your rank," Zayn tuts as he steps in, patting Niall on the shoulder. He waves over at Lilli.

"Uncle Niall, that's 50 cents for the swear jar," Lilli says quite pointedly, hands on her hips and everything.

"Yeah, alright," Niall grumbles, going to the kitchen to deposit the coins. Liam rolls his eyes at him, closing the laptop for now.

"She's definitely your child," Zayn remarks, chuckling slightly.

"There's the most beautiful girl in the world!" Harry yells, coming from between Zayn and Louis. His arms are out and he's got a cheesy grin on his face as he bounds towards Lilli.

Lilli squeals. "Uncle Harry!" And when he scoops her up and blows raspberries on her skin her giggles fill the whole apartment.

"That's _godfather_ ," Harry corrects before bending back down to blow against her stomach. She wriggles and laughs in his arms.

"Will you stop that?" Louis says, coming back into the living room, followed by Zayn. "We told you, we haven't picked yet."

"Yeah, but we all know it's gonna be me," Harry says confident and teasing. He looks back at Lilli and pokes her.

Liam shakes his head. "Anyway," he starts, coming up to to them, kissing Lilli's head. "Anyone hungry? Baby girl, how about you?" She nods more fervently than Niall ever could, and that's all the answer he needs. And Niall, of course, contributes his answer from behind all of them and Louis snorts, "what a surprise," with a roll of his eyes.

"You want help making lunch, bro?" Zayn asks and Liam nods, both of them walking into the kitchen. Liam hugs Niall when they cross paths, before Niall squirms away to hug Lilli. She's been the keeper of all their attention since before they even brought her home. They immediately came over the next day, showering her in compliments and encouragement, keeping her comfortable, though. She took to them well, too, and it all felt so natural Liam had to take a few steps back just to observe and remember all it took to get to this place. He quite loves his family.

"Quick, Lilli! The floor is lava!" Niall yells and Lilli screams. Liam hears an "oomph" from Louis and a, "Papa, protect me!" and he looks back to see Lilli straddling Louis' back as he crawls along the floor.

"Heyy, Lou, the floor is lava, you can't crawl," Harry pouts, crouching in the armchair.

Lilli shakes her head. "Nooo, Papa is the only one immune to the lava. He's magic." Liam didn't even know she knew the word immune - she's probably just parroting Louis, he suspects.

"Yeah, Harry. I'm magic," Louis grunts, rounding the coffee table.

Niall comes up and steals Lilli from off of Louis and they all yell, "Niall!" before chasing him around the living room, Lilli laughing in his arms.

Liam smiles and returns to the kitchen, where Zayn has already pulled out the bread and peanut butter and jelly. Liam grabs some lunch meat from the fridge and chips from the pantry. He starts to spread mustard on one of the slices but he can feel Zayn's eyes on him. "What?"

Zayn looks down. "Nothing, nothing. I'm just -" He looks over the counter and into the living room. "Things are good, huh?"

Liam beams. "Yeah. So good. Great. Perfect." Zayn nods, but Liam knows what else he's thinking. "Alright," Liam sighs. "Go on, say it. Say, 'I told you so' and have it done with." He sets down the spread knife and faces Zayn.

Zayn shakes his head, but that smug smile is still on his lips. "No, no, I'm not going to do that." Then, after a beat, "I'm not saying I didn't, I'm just not gonna say it," he teases, eyes flickering with joy as he pops a chip in his mouth. "But, I will say, I'm proud of you. Like, seriously proud."

"Zayn..."

"No, come on, Liam," Zayn says, staring him dead in the eye. "You worked hard for this, you both did. You've wanted this your whole life and now you've got it. And I know how fearful you were, every new parent is, but - look at this, Liam." He points out to the living room where they're playing hide and seek now. "You've done so well. She loves you so much, and you've done such a good thing for her. You deserve this. Both of you. You're good parents, believe it or not."

Liam looks down, trying not to give away his blush, or the welling tears. "It's only been a month."

"Oh, shut up." Zayn slaps his shoulder and pulls him into a hug. Liam wraps his arms around his back and Zayn kisses just by his ear. "You are a good father. And husband, and best friend."

Liam sniffles, nodding into his shoulder. "Thank you. You're honestly the best."

"Love you, man," Zayn says, sliding away from him, going back to the sandwiches.

"Why do you always make me cry?" Liam laughs, wiping at his eyes with the hem of his shirt.

"Because, I'm deep like that," Zayn answers. "Just think of me as like, your unofficial therapist."

"Shut up," Liam retorts, shoving at him lightly before going back to making their sandwiches. Turkey, cheese, and lettuce for all of them, and PB & J for Lilli - Liam has been specially bequeathed with the honor of being the only one can make her sandwich because he apparently makes it the best - which Louis didn't appreciate. But only Louis is allowed to tell bedtime stories because he does the voices best, so it's fair game.

Zayn gets the chips for each of them, but cheese puffs for Lilli so she doesn't accidentally cut the roof of her mouth. Liam turns to put all the condiments back in the fridge, grabbing the milk and lemonade. He pauses when he closes the fridge door, eyes catching on the sticky notes there. There's been a few more added, things like _Lilli wants to watch Toy Story when u get home :)_ and _harry's been trying to reach you_ and _guess who ate all the fish sticks?_ and _p.s. it was me! - Niall_ and drawings Lilli's done because she wanted to contribute. The fridge is more taken over by her coloring book creations and what Louis calls "abstract art" because Lilli can't really write yet. Lilli's quite proud of all her drawings, and Liam's just proud of her little spirit in general. His favorite probably has to be the one piece with the three L's on it, interconnected by a drawing of a house, the first L the bottom left corner, the second one the front door, and the third the bottom right corner leading to the dirt line. The L's are each outlined in red, standing out from the house - home - they're apart of. Surrounding the house is, "Welcome to Liam, Louis, and Lilli's Home!" adorned with Lilli's swirly doodles and hearts by Liam and smiley faces by Louis. He wants to frame it and keep it forever.

He pours Lilli a glass of milk and all the rest of them lemonade. Zayn helps him carry in all the plates and cups and Niall cheers when they walk in.

"Yay!" Lilli delights, coming up to hug at Liam's calf.

"Where'd you wanna sit, baby girl?" Liam asks, setting the plates down on the coffee table.

"With Uncle Harry," she answers simply and walks off to the armchair where he's sitting.

"Ha!" he says pointedly, sticking his tongue out at Niall. He picks her up and sits her in the chair, scooting it up close to the table. He sloppily kisses her cheek and sits himself on the arm and Liam hands him his plate. "Thanks."

"Stop whining, Niall. You know that's not how we get what we want," Louis says, smirking at him.

"Oh, be quiet," Niall huffs, plopping on the end cushion of the couch.

Louis ruffles his hair before sitting down himself. Liam sits on his other side and Zayn next to him, all of them settling in for lunch.

"Daddy, Papa, can we watch Finding Nemo, again?" Lilli asks, kicking her legs from her chair.

"Why, of course we can," Liam answers. Harry and Niall cheer along with Lilli and Liam's wondering when they became the parents of three four year olds instead of one.

"It's already in, I think, babe," Louis says around a bite of his sandwich. He grabs the remote and flips it to the DVD player, and the menu screen is displayed in front of them. He presses play. Niall starts to whisper something to Louis, but is cut off.

"Shush, Uncle Niall! No talking during the movie!" Lilli warns, as adorable as ever with jelly and cheese puff powder all over her mouth.

"Yes, ma'am," Niall says, shrinking back into the couch.

Lilli hides her face in Harry's leg when the barracuda comes for all the eggs, getting all the crumbs on her face on his jeans, but Liam knows Harry doesn't mind at all. He keeps a hand on her shoulder even after Nemo is heading off to school.

Soon enough, they're all tangled on the couch like always. Zayn resting his legs across Liam and Louis' laps, Niall leaning on Louis with his legs draped over the arm, and Liam's arm around Louis' shoulders. Lilli and Harry come to join the "mega cuddle" as Harry called it, Lilli sitting herself on both her fathers' laps and Harry sliding himself under Niall. And somehow, it's perfectly comfortable. The six of them on a couch made for three. Lilli's head starts to lean back onto their shoulders as she begins to doze, and Louis intertwines his fingers with the hand of Liam's that's dangling over his chest. Harry's arms are wrapped around Niall's waist and Niall's butt is probably digging into his thighs but neither of them complain. Zayn is conked out as well, head back on the arm of the couch and legs perfectly still in their laps. When Nemo and Marvin get reunited finally, Lilli wakes up just enough to cheer, before snuggling into Louis' side. Liam smiles and looks around at all his friends - his family - warmth flooding through his chest. He kisses Lilli's head lightly, stroking his fingers over her hair, and turns to press one against Louis' cheek. Louis smiles up at him, squeezing his hand, and Liam really, really, loves his life.


End file.
